Somewhere nearby
there is someone else cutting their losses.
To sever that part which no longer
functions in conjunction with the mass
is always the strong way--
Preferential to being saddened by the
slaughter of your fairy tale ending after it's too late, anyway...
but it's not easy to let go of that glorified dream.
My window sills still have a few inches
of sleeted snow on them—the debris from
the downfall—and the sight
of the pane is making me stop
and think about it all--
about how I want you to be the crux of it,
the hero who kisses the sleeping princess,
and saves her from the dread and the villain--
but you are too stubborn, and I
am wanting to sleep
because I can't run out and distract myself
from my livelihood or lack-thereof
like I usually do.
The branches on my trees outside
are weighed down by the aftermath of the storm,
and so am I.
there are alot of metaphors but i think it works well with what you are trying to convey. i would consider some form of punctuation after "sleep" i think it adds more impact and makes the last 3 lines of that stanza pop more. its a really solid piece
ReplyDeleteanother thought i just had... try italizing "the hero who kisses the sleeping princess,
ReplyDeleteand saves her from the dread and the villain" and see if you like how that looks, its more a stylistic consideration.